Conflicted

The facts stare at you.
And you think by this time, you should have gotten the message.
The action has been speaking and is still speaking the same language.
Louder than words.

So how long will you fight?
How long will you deny?
Or turn a blind eye?

You are dispensable.
That's why.
It is of no importance what you feel
Or how you react to the way you're treated

Handle it or leave.
It doesn't matter.

So what say you?
Are you still going to fight?
Blindly?
A martyr without a cause?

Or start giving importance to yourself finally.
Respecting yourself
Loving yourself
And learning to realize that you are lovable
And under normal circumstances, a much needed commodity.

What? How?
Are you ready to face the pain?
The truth?
In exchange for love of self?

Drift

I have allowed the tides to take me wherever for so long. In the middle of my placid drift going nowhere, you came to me. And now, I am holding on to you. Hoping I finally have a place to go to. Hoping you wouldn't let me go.

Ideas

I am starting to believe more and more that you do not love for who I am but for the potential you see and the ideas you've created about me.

I am afraid that I may be fighting a lost cause. But I believe too much in love. I'm such a romantic. It's humiliating to admit that I'm no different from all the other girls who fall for the wrong guys... even if everyone can see as clear as the sun how wrong it is to keep the relationship. I have been blinded. But you have been praying for me. I have to believe I am still the one you want.

I am not sorry though, for you I am. I will not make promises anymore. Love me for who I am or leave. As I am trying my best to love you despite all you are. Your stellar qualities and those that hurt me. They're a package. I can't change you. And even if there are many things I don't like about you, I still chose this. I have to accept the consequence.

If you can no longer find the happiness with me, then I will no longer stop you from leaving. While we will encounter challenges, the point of us is to find strength with each other, to stand as one against the world. If you can no longer stand with me...it is your happiness that matters. How can I force myself on someone who can't be happy with me? How can I be happy if the one I love isn't?

And again,I ask God why you? You used to be my angel, not my persecutor. But now it seems all you see are the flaws.

Still, i thank God for you. For the amazingly happy moments. For the experience. Whatever happens from hereon... the lessons learned from having you will forever be a part of who I am.

Ghosts

You leave me cold
And I try to be like you

As ghosts of my past haunt me
Ghosts I have sought to forget
For you
Ghosts I have avoided
For you

They haunt me
Rising from their graves
Tantalizing me with their mystery

Somehow warming the heart
That is learning not to care
That is slowly getting numb
From your coldness

Bringing forth imaginings
Of what could've beens
Might have beens

Yet, they are mere ghosts
A whisper of the past
Phantoms.
With no real substance
No future
A product of the past long dead
Living only in memoriam

And slowly, all that is me is dying
All my passions
My fire
Losing their flare
Until I'll be dead like the rest of them
Like the ghosts i have buried

A pretty face and a pretty smile
That is empty
Hollow... a facade meaning nothing
And the mask is back again
Because the mask is all you can ever accept