Stay Away

I have longed for you in vain.
Have wanted you in my dreams
Thought of you every damn moment
Every passsing day.

I'm obsessed.
I'm crazed.
I'm hopeless.
I'm desperate.

An imagination gone out of hand.
As i remember well that once, you were mine.

You're everything I desire
Not one man has come close

I see no one else but you.
And fighting it is a meaningless battle.

I imagine your smell
Your touch
Your kiss

I fantasize of seducing you...

And yet I'll stay away
And for all the world to see

I'll stay away
For all that is right and proper
For all that calls for my right to sanity

I'll stay away
Away from my dangerous wants
And my unreasonable lust.

I'll stay away.
If it is the only means to save you
To love you

I'll stay away.

Confused

What do you want from me?
What can I possibly give you?
What use would I be to you?

We stand in the middle of nowhere
More than friends, less than lovers.
What am I to you?

You speak not to me
Is this for the best?
Is the truth too much for us to handle?

I don't know what you want
But I know what I want.

Nothing more than where we are now.
You cannot ask me for more.

I have no heart to give you.
But a willing hand.
A simple smile
A pat on the back.

Nothing more.

Yet, is that what you want?
Is that enough for you?

It oughta be.
It's all i have to offer.

I wish you don't assume there's more
There's nothing more.

I don't wish to be unfair.
And I've no intentions of leading you on
But how to tell you this...

I am in the dark.
I cannot tell you what I am capable of.
And you will not tell me what you want.

Another Day...

It's just one of those days
When nothing seems to be going right
And nothing matters at all

One of those days when everything you do seems clumsy
Everything you've achieved seem paltry
And you've become the very thing you hate the most

Worthless
Dull
Lifeless

Another day when you feel like there should be something more
That you could actually be happier
That there is so much potential for adventure

But here you are... a-wastin'
Waiting for something to come your way
But never seem to anyway

And it's damn laziness creepin' up
What the hell... this is it.
This is all there is.

If you only Knew...

I saw you again yesterday
After eight long years.
And I love you now as I've loved you then

It has never been the romantic one.
The firecracker brand.
I wanted to believe it could be then.

But i know it can never be.
Just as well. Friendships are better cherished as such.
You are beautiful to me.

You are brave. You are strong. You are a thing of envy.
And what i find so endearing about you is that you don't see it.
You relate to me as if we are the same.

See through me as if my sadness were your own
My weakness
My pain.

No one else knows me better than you.
Do you realize how much I've shown you?
How much of myself I've given you?

From you, I have nothing to hide.

And yet, it is embarrasing that you know so much of me.
I am, by nature, reserved.

But you have shared yourself with so many others.
I am jealous.

You lived a life so different from mine.
And yet, you remain the friend who accepted me
Without reserve. Always the insightful one.

I love you. It is that simple.
I cannot explain it.
Your heart. Your soul. I wish i could have it.

But that's selfish of me.
I can never give it enough care.
And there are others who value you as much as i do.

I remain but one of the many.
At least I own a part of your memory
At least you remember me.

I wish i didn't feel so much for you.
You can never care enough for me
As always, it remains my burden. My curse.

And because I love you...
I would rejoice in your happiness.
Even if it can never be mine.