I Want To...

I want to... let loose...
Go wild, party like crazy!
Drink til I'm drunk
Until I babble incoherent and stupid stuff
Laugh my heart out
Hug the whole world... men, women, little children...
To trust them explicitly, and in turn have them love me completely.

I want to...cry passionately
Express my emotions without reserve
Watch a tear-jerker and spill those tears
Without fear of humiliation

I want to...Speak my mind openly, voice my thoughts as I please...
Without contest or repercussions
And sing my heart out, with the feelings that goes along with the song

I want to... be as loud and as angry as I please
Break every breakable plates and vases around
Shout my lungs out and head bang in a loud concert
And dance round and round, jump up and down.

I want to... dance on center stage.
Dance sexily, seductively or insanely, it doesn't matter!
And I want all eyes on me... cheering me on, in a crowded night club
While I'm high on adrenaline
On booze and whatever drug will kick in the party mode.

And at the end of the day,

I want to say I love you, over and over again.
And make you believe it, as if there is no tomorrow left to say it again.

Passion is my nature.
My emotions run free... it's not something I want...
Something I can plug and stop.
All i can do is mask it
I have therefore, been lying to myself
And the universe.

I want to live... i want to be free...
I wish you could be like me.
I long for your understanding.
But honestly, I live in a stuck up world
And i conform to their stuck up ways
Smile their decent plastic smiles
And act with a clean, mature image.

Yet it is all an act.
And I am ultimately trapped.
And discontent.
Choked and bored.
And often resigned... and sad.