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Sometimes you'll wonder whether the right thing to do is worth doing. Sometimes you think that in order to do the right thing, you have to sacrifice. Sometimes reality stares you right in the face but the tears blur it. And then you lose your ability to reason, to think, and all that is there is pain. And somehow, its almost inconsequential whether it's right or wrong. And all the blessed reason why you believe something should be done flies out the window.

A day turns into eternity of waiting. For a sign. But the signs will forsake you. Because you don't deserve the luxury of closure. Because you reap what you sow.

Let me touch your face... look into your eyes and see how much you love me. Before i let go of my memories, allow me to tell you that i have always believed you loved me. That with all my jaded and bitter ideas of truth... even as i hurt you callously with my biting words... your love for me is perhaps the most wonderful present i have been blessed with. The most beautiful song i have heard, the sweetest thing i have tasted. The gentlest wind that has carressed my soul.

But i am not strong enough to keep you. Not strong enough to adjust. And my confidence fades. Because i am just me. I've broken too many promises... not just promises i made to you, but even to myself. I have lied to myself and presented them as truths in the name of self-worth. I can no longer defend my actions. No longer justify my rationale.

As i look back on my own words... they come from a position of strength. And at some point, they make sense. If i didn't know myself, i could live the lie. If i were less of a coward, i'd have had the courage to let you sail off peacefully... away from me and my fears and self-doubt...let you find that princess of your dreams at the other end of your journey. Your perfect fit. I'd let you go to her if i could, because your demands are not high, your expectations easy to achieve. And surely she exists somewhere.

But my selfishness keeps me from doing so. And because you love me so blindly, you wait for me... wait until i wake up from my own folly. But i'm afraid i never would. If i were a sheep and covered myself in lionskin, i still remain a sheep. I see my flaws but could do nothing about them. I have grown too accustomed to them. Like a drug dependent, i've gone in too far, too long and too deep in the habit and could no longer escape without the pain of withdrawal. I believe i am an incurable case.

To keep you is to hurt you even more. To sink in the blade even deeper into your heart. Until I bleed you dry. If i could save you from me, i would. But i can't. You have to save yourself... i am so very sorry for being weak.

In the end, i stand alone, waging a war within myself. Waiting... waiting for a redemption i don't deserve. I await the time when all wounds would heal because it is the only thing left to do.