At The End of the Day

At the end of the day
I look forward to going home
To my pillow

With pliant shoulders i can lean on to
Which would willingly absorb my tears as they fall
That I can hug and take comfort from
It would expect nothing from me in return
For its company.

And when i'm tired i can just lie with it
Quietly providing me
With a sense of comfort
Lending me a measure of strength
And security

In a world where my life is unanchored
And my life makes no sense
And while i'm unsure and alone

My pillow
Keeps me company in my sleep
Solid and true and real

And i have stopped loving myself
Stopped believing in myself
Started doubting my decisions
Started regretting things I've done.

Yet my pillow is there
Never leaving me, despite my self loathing
Never one to judge my actions

And I need not make any effort
To be liked at all
Because it will silently accept me for who i am
Will still stay with me despite the mistakes I've made
Will never blame me for being wrong
Will take only what I'm willing to give.

At the end of the day,
While i hug my pillow to sleep,
I find myself wishing
That my dreams would at least
Be better than my reality.