Here's the thing you see... I'm just no good. I'm not good enough for anybody. Believe me, despite my vanity... the constant airs that I show other people... they mean nothing. Inside, I'm just a childish brat who knows nothing about anything save loving myself.

Yet you... you seem to think the world of me. What the hell is it that you see? Maybe if i saw it, I might love myself a little more. You keep showing up out of the blue, and all my hard won defense suddenly crumbles. Haven't you noticed that I've not been bothering you in the least? That I ask for nothing? That in a sense... I want nothing more to do with you?

Because i'm scared to lose you. Yet you're not even mine. And I'd rather never have you than have you and lose you one day. It hurts just even thinking about it. I keep on fighting what I feel for you. I keep on trying to forget... After all, emotions are supposedly fleeting. How come I can't stop myself?

I miss you...so damn much.

I know that finally, I could never have enough of you. You'd leave me. Whether by choice or by circumstance, you'll go. And all you'll be able to say is "I'm sorry". What good will that do me?

It's always painful to moon over someone that can never be yours. Always a futile dream. All you can do is look at them... wishing that there could be something more. That somehow, that person could maybe love you the way you love them.

That one look they give you, one single smile... is all it takes to make you forgive any fault. That a single touch spreads a warmth all over. That nothing that they do or say can make you stop loving them. That nothing you say to yourself can make you see them any lesser.

And the realization will strike you... you know that even if that person loses everything... all you'd wanna do is give whatever you can. And even if that person looks all the worse... you'd know it wouldn't matter.

If only I knew what to do. If only I could rip away this stupid bleeding thing from my ribs and step on it. If only you'd help me forget you...