If you only Knew...

I saw you again yesterday
After eight long years.
And I love you now as I've loved you then

It has never been the romantic one.
The firecracker brand.
I wanted to believe it could be then.

But i know it can never be.
Just as well. Friendships are better cherished as such.
You are beautiful to me.

You are brave. You are strong. You are a thing of envy.
And what i find so endearing about you is that you don't see it.
You relate to me as if we are the same.

See through me as if my sadness were your own
My weakness
My pain.

No one else knows me better than you.
Do you realize how much I've shown you?
How much of myself I've given you?

From you, I have nothing to hide.

And yet, it is embarrasing that you know so much of me.
I am, by nature, reserved.

But you have shared yourself with so many others.
I am jealous.

You lived a life so different from mine.
And yet, you remain the friend who accepted me
Without reserve. Always the insightful one.

I love you. It is that simple.
I cannot explain it.
Your heart. Your soul. I wish i could have it.

But that's selfish of me.
I can never give it enough care.
And there are others who value you as much as i do.

I remain but one of the many.
At least I own a part of your memory
At least you remember me.

I wish i didn't feel so much for you.
You can never care enough for me
As always, it remains my burden. My curse.

And because I love you...
I would rejoice in your happiness.
Even if it can never be mine.