Death

Nothing matters
Nothing changes
I have tried
To be content
To be thankful...

But it cannot be denied.
I am dead
I walk among the living
Everyone's alive
They smile

But i envy them all
They know not what they have
What their smiles mean
What their laughter means

I envy...
Because I am dead.
Animated though i seem

I am an empty shell
There is no reason at all
To be alive
Only a reason to live.
A reason... that belongs to me not.
But to others whom i owe my existence to.

But me? Woe is me. I am dead.
If not for fear of utter oblivion,
I would not be standing here.
Living in a prison of breathing flesh.

Mimicking the living
As though i could be one of them.

Pretend though i might
People sense what I am
And thus I am shunned.
Unliked.
Unloved.

Fear not. I feel no hatred towards you.

It is intangible, your discomfort around me.
But I will tell you what you cannot understand.
You sense death. The utter blackhole that surrounds me
The aura and stench of decay.

'Tis a cold day in the land of my soul
Albeit the blistering summer heat in the real world i revolve in

'Tis sad to be able to understand defeat.
Unable to raise a fist at a fate that has so left me bereft.
Fighting is irrelevant.
Acceptance... has left me hollow.

It is sad. But the dead has no right to complain.
I howl at the wind.
I howl at my utter uselessness
My incompetence

I howl at my inability to resurrect myself to the living.